What's In a Name

My middle name is Reneé. A common name for many women in this country, and I am sure in many other countries. There is nothing unique, or singular about have this name.

However, I've always been fascinated by names, their language of origin, the etymology, and especially their meaning. Growing up, I always secretly believed that names, like many words, have power. That the meaning behind a name can reveal a person's passions, talents, skills, or even their destiny. That it could possibly hold the key to some of the greatest questions a person can and will have in life. I believed - still believe - that in life their are rarely coincidences. Even the names given to us by our parents have a purpose and relationship with our life paths.

So, imagine my disappointment when I learned that my first name - which I won't post because its actually pretty distinct - had no meaning. In following the trend at the time, my mother created a name from her and my father's names. She created something unique to me - and in that I see the value of my name. However, when I was younger I was a little hurt, because it challenged my beliefs in the power and influence of words. Having a name with no meaning, origins, languages, or etymology meant I had not path, destiny, talent, or skills to affix to my person. I was - in essence - a very blank slate, and it was (and still is) my job to forge a definition, path, and destiny for myself.

But my middle name is Reneé, and that name is an extremely old name. Almost vintage in way. As many people may know it is a French name, and my mother was sure to spell it the feminine way. It simply means "reborn." Interpret that as you see fit.

I, however, am starting to feel like the second half of my name is starting to weave its influence into my life. I feel as though I am restarting my life, entering a second phase of self-discovery, or an early mid-life crisis. At only 30 years old, I feel as thought my life has plateaued, and those things that used to satisfy me no longer fulfill me as they used to. So, yeah, in a way, I am rediscovering life, resetting, or even being "reborn."

That's exactly where I am in life, and its time I start owning it. However, not just owning it, but also being comfortable in the uncertainty that is a life restarted. The beautiful thing about a newborn infant is the promise that comes with new life. Through the pain and chaos of childbirth is the gift of untainted potential, and perhaps that is the influence of my name. Perhaps, it was always my destiny to be reborn, to receive a second, third, or fourth incarnation of life. The beauty being that from the ashes and destruction of the old will emerge the promise of new, of creation, of a fresh start - if one makes the most of their time.

That's where I am right now. How do I navigate the chaos that is my life, so that I can be reborn and make the most of the new potential that is to come? How do I move out of the fear and stigma that has held me back? How do I live and love life at 30 years old?

Let me know, if you happen to come across the answer, and you'll be the first I'll tell if I figure it out.

But until then, think about what's in your name. Has it unexpectedly influenced you?